Psalms 61:2 - "I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I."
People have told me to make decisions based on what makes me happy, but what happens when my happiness is determined by those around me? Why do I let things others say and do determine how I feel about something? Does that mean that whatever that is, that makes me happy really doesn't make me happy if I'm questioning it? Why am I so confused? Why do I seem to be always so confused? Ugh.
I just want to curl up in the safety of God's presence and let everything happen without me doing anything. I want to bury my face in his jacket and have the conflicts disappear. I hate conflicts. With people and within myself. Right now there is both :/. I can't tell which came first the chicken or the egg but both are here now and I don't know how to take care of either of them. Help!
I need to get to Church. I have only gone once since being home and that was on Christmas eve. Since being at school I have gone to some kind of "Church" service about four times every weak. I think I am going through withdrawals. I don't know how to get what I need. Why do I feel like this is one of those times where I need to feed myself?
syd, you are not alone. i think you would be surprised to know how many people feel this exact same way. i know i certainly do...
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